Finally, a day to sleep in, raised at 730 instead of what has become the norm of 6am. We're off to the 5000km long Great Wall.
The wall is located in the mountains 37km away from the city. I had no clue until I woke this morning that there were mountains so close until I looked out my hotel window and saw my first smogless day, a bluebird day. In the distance, they stood and somewhere on their tops wound the wall along their peaks and ridges.
The bus jolted to a stop waking me in a parking lot that had grass growing through the pavement. A nondescript warehouse type building was our first destination of the morning. It was promoted to be a jade factory but I'd later find that it was an absolutely massive jewelry store, oh great, exactly how I'd like to waste my time.
The space filled with jade bracelets, small jade trinkets, gawdy large jade boats, and sculptures of all shapes and sizes immediately made apparent that my jade Buddha desire was out of line when one, barely larger than a quarter, cost nearly 100 bucks. Then I saw the restaurant in the center, clearly paced there so the guys can calm their nerves while their ladies found the perfect necklace to drain his wallet and perhaps their child's college fund nearly instantly.
Bill Murray, a fellow Coloradan who's got a sour dispositioned girlfriend with expensive taste, decided 12-year-old scotch would help him face the upcoming bill. I ordered a coffee and sunk into a barstool beside him. He decided he didn't want to drink alone so he surprised me with a three-fingered pour when he ordered his next. I reluctantly accepted being that it was just ten in the morning, it's going to be a long day.
There wasn't a joke or protest that kept him from demanding another drink for us both, two hours later and one bottle down his girl was ready to check out. She had looted his wallet out of 32,000 bucks. he and I poured ourselves into the shuttle for the remaining hour trip to the wall.
There are two types of towers along the walls, beacon towers, and watchtowers. The former is larger towers and often contain enough room for a garrison and sleeping quarters. Back in the ancient times, the soldiers would light fires signaling a thousand invading soldiers per beacon and then the protectors of the wall would rush reinforcements along the wall. I use the word "rush" relatively because stairs of varying height connect the towers sometimes at a 60-degree angle making them incredibly steep.
The origin of the wall started with several walls that were interconnected through the years and as wars permitted. The original walls were circular which allowed our team to try our hardest to make it all the way around at the provided time. Most people quit and went to the bar after the first three towers, but I kept pushing beyond the burning legs and stooper to the 12th and completed the circuit.
Upon my completion, the wall let out into a parking lot full of tour buses. Mine had to be there I thought. I braved the frequent catcalls from taxi drivers to walk up and down the line but I did not find my bus. I decided to go back toward the entrance where we ststartedIy appeared my only choice was to leave a one-way gate to start the way back, big mistake because this put me on the road in a scary tunnel with no sidewalk and cars flying both ways.
"Richard!" I hear faintly and again. I've really never answered to Richard so I was surprised it caught my attention. The source of the bellows was Lilly our hawk-eyed tour guide. Oh no, I cursed, there's another parking lot high on the hill and now I've got a slight hangover and a Great Wall to overcome. I found they'd added a storm drain that seemed I could carefully scale up the 30 feet to the parking. The drain ended about 6 feet short of the top of the wall. I found some footholds and pulled myself up the final distance.
Don't call me a Richard, call me a Marauder (unless I’m tipsy and hopelessly lost those times...Richard will do...or marauder)
