Hey, Buddha

Waxi is the host of the fourth great Buddha of China, the Eastern Buddha. Looming 270 feet high the 700-ton bronze statue is the main attraction of a Buddist theme park.

Four times a day the lotus flower opens and a baby Buddha rises up and orchestrates a vegas style water show that supposedly represents the story of Siddhartha set to music.

A replica Tibetan monastery allows you to experience prayer wheels and other replicas of artifacts hidden high in the Himalayas.

Hey, I'm Lingering in a Garden

Considered one of the most beautiful gardens in the country, Souzou's lingering garden was built in the 16th century. It is a masterpiece of Xui style architecture characterized by the use of black, white,  and grey. Lords didn’t want to travel far because travel was difficult so they designed their homes so nature came inside for them to enjoy. We stopped on a dumpy street and walked through a doorway into a splendor I couldn’t imagine. The chrysanthemums were in full bloom and many of the deciduous trees were turning color.

Afterward, we set off to one of the largest silk factories in China, which again was a shopping trap for many in the group for the tacky, but soft, comforters. A pair of socks and a couple ties and I was done, the others though took two and a half hours.

Optional tour in the afternoon was a riverboat tour in one of the city's many waterways. I chose to pass and me and two others hustled up to a Buddhist Pagoda we could see in the distance.



Tiger Hill Pagoda is the leaning tower of China. It was constructed in the first century as a Buddhist shrine. The tower has started listing since it was built and lost all of the traditional roofs that divided up the column for decoration. Twelve bucks entry was a bargain.

The pagoda caries its name because of the prayer rocks at its base and how people prayed while crouching like a tiger.

The grounds of Tiger Hill contain a Bonzi garden with an uncountable number of potted plants of all shapes and sizes.

A massive shrine to the Buddhas contains ceramic doll-like figures representing the life of the Buddha.

The grounds also contained a litany of springs water features and rock gardens.

We moved hastily through the grounds while the others were on the boat ride, and naturally, we beat them back to the bus.
The most of the rest of the group came back complaining about the boat ride, while we discovered a unique and fulfilling experience. Jackpot, on the other hand, also didn't go on the boat and presumably went to several street vendors returned swaggering 45 min late like she owned Suzhou now.

Once we finished giving her a proper verbal undressing for her tardy, we headed up an hour away to Wuxi

Hey, I'm following a flag

I travel today to the Forbidden City with thirty-four mouth breathing half wits. Down in the Oasis Cafe, I get a premonition of what the day will entail while they pad their already lumpy physiques with the English/Chinese breakfast. The spread is lavish with a dessert station, omelet station, charcuterie, a dozen soups, fresh fruit and pastries galore.

The omelet station is particular hilarity. I had to resist watching as the group filed past and made their orders, each person left a bit broken because their order wasn't quite right. Too little chives, no tomatoes, this guy got tomatoes when he intended to get mushrooms, I want mine more cooked, I want mine scrambled they plead. They all receive a delicious omelet exactly like the one before it, they don't realize she's making them all the same.

"If they're late tomorrow they owe us a song," jested the tour guide. We're stuck waiting on family fourteen who is a rotund hippy girl, one I was dreading being stuck with as I passed her while boarding the plane.

In 1402 Tiananmen square was built translated it ironically means "peaceful gate of the heavens" and is a hotspot for social protest. The square easily fits 2,000,000 people. A two-hour line snaked through the square full of penitent mourners of the late Mao who still lies in state some 40 years after his death. The square is guarded by the massive buildings of Mao's tomb, the great hall of the people building, the national museum, and the gate of the forbidden city sporting the 3000lb painting of the late Mao.

We walked over the moat and beneath the visage of Mao to enter the city that housed multiple dynasties and their concubines. Each gate has a grid of bolts nine by nine that bring good luck to those who drag their hands upon them.

Five gates and courtyards later I realized the paranoia that the place represented. An assassin would have to first forge the moat then climb the 40 foot tall 100-foot thick wall, scamper across a courtyard unnoticed then repeat the task five more times until they penetrated to where the emperor favored. Trouble is that then the assassin would have their greatest feat yet, locating the emperor in one of the palace's 9,999 rooms.

Emporers preferred the man-made lake region of the Summer Palace.  The British tried to snuff out the history by raising it to the ground during the opium wars. The Dragon Lady, a famous concubine that rose to emporess and eventually main decision maker for the last emporer, rebuilt the grounds palaces added bridges and her own residence with a 700m walkway adorned with 8000 unique paintings.

Buy the end of the day today the group got rowdy, a couple of winers need

ed a throat punch. "My feet hurt" they squabbled, "how far are we?" they quibbled, "did I pay for this in advance?" they questioned. Bless our guide Lily's heart for keeping so calm and repeating directions over and over consoling their qualm. I became friends with a car buff that resembled Bill Murray and his Arab girlfriend. We constantly were chiding the other people in the group under our breath...Jackpot and her husband were the butt of many inside jokes due to their Compton roots.

Hey, I'm off again.

Yet another trip as the result of an impulse buy, this time falling victim to a Groupon tour package for ten days in China. Honestly, this is my first tour group I've traveled with a group and not too happy to be traveling this way, but for the deal I got, what the heck.

Something was different from the start. I got into Seattle five hours early and decided to go straight to the check-in for the international flight. The desk was preparing to open with the attendants getting barked at by a portly authoritative female that was clearly taking no crap. To my pleasure, she yelled at the group in front of me to move back into the queue ropes. She marched around arranging fake flowers on the desk, placing brochures exactly an inch back from the counter front, unrolling carpets into their position then moving them. Every TV monitor has the same display, but she forced a staff member to read them all and for good measure and then did it again herself. The other attendants stood clearly annoyed with her and seemed to be begging to get the day over with. With a squeak from the queen, the desk opened at exactly 10am.

The flight was nice enough despite the disappointment of the in-seat media center being broken and the headphone jack missing. The plane steadily filled but when the cabin doors were finally closed, I was tickled to find the two seats next to me unoccupied, some room to spread out.

Customs was quite through with infrared fever detectors, environmental police, and some other stations where their purpose was not as clear. I giggled on the third x-ray of my bag thinking of the apparent redundancies.